Penis One Friend is All You Truly Need
I like butts almost as much as I like licking old people
~ Tuesday, May 21 ~
Permalink

Happenings in my house

  • Dad: Don't put the new knives in the dishwasher, okay?
  • Me: Why?
  • Dad: Because you'll blunt them
  • Brother: Oh, did you hear that laddie, he said we'll blunt the knives!
  • Dad: ...what
  • Me: BLUNT THE KNIVES, BEND THE FORKS
  • Brother: SMASH THE BOTTLES AND BURN THE CORKS
  • Dad: ... no

28,713 notes
reblogged via thelittlenerd
Permalink
idiotsonfb:

Bastards… where is the spoiler alert?!? Damn Facebook

idiotsonfb:

Bastards… where is the spoiler alert?!? Damn Facebook


538 notes
reblogged via that-one-awesome-person
Permalink

(Source: condompancakes)


8,974 notes
reblogged via pop-punk-pizza
Permalink

4,621 notes
reblogged via meanplastic
Permalink

thewierdones:

vic talking about olivia


1,848 notes
reblogged via heaven-help-mcr
Permalink
arystar:

blingostarr:

courtbo:

finishedby5am:

Wow.

The human body is fascinating

I keep telling people this shit in real life and they don’t believe me.I’ve seen it from multiple sources, and this just adds another (albeit usually unreliable) source. This is actually legit, guys.  This is how your eyes move when you’re thinking about something.  It’s actually a good way to tell if someone is lying or not, because they’ll look to their left (your right, durr) when they’re constructing false memories, and to their right when they’re actually remembering them.

HOLY CRAP. SAVING THIS FOR FUTURE REF.

arystar:

blingostarr:

courtbo:

finishedby5am:

Wow.

The human body is fascinating

I keep telling people this shit in real life and they don’t believe me.
I’ve seen it from multiple sources, and this just adds another (albeit usually unreliable) source.

This is actually legit, guys.  This is how your eyes move when you’re thinking about something.  It’s actually a good way to tell if someone is lying or not, because they’ll look to their left (your right, durr) when they’re constructing false memories, and to their right when they’re actually remembering them.

HOLY CRAP. SAVING THIS FOR FUTURE REF.

(Source: ssscuttlebuttt)


190,148 notes
reblogged via caiusqueenbitch
Permalink

deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan:

castielthebadassangel:

thegabbicave:

0ftenhated:

savannahfaerie:

doctorsaxon:

sweetmotherofpie:

Imagine a movie like The Avengers

But instead of Marvel heroes joining forces

It was Disney Princesses

“I have an army,” Maleficent taunted.

“Yeah?” said Rapunzel, “We have Kuzco.”

YOU THREW OFF MY GROOVE

“That’s my secret Mulan… I’m always off groove

image

“Kuzco… Smash

when he’s angry he turns into a giant llama

image

LKFD;KFKLS;


157,810 notes
reblogged via thelittlenerd
Permalink

18,220 notes
reblogged via computer0addict
Permalink

archiemcphee:

These awesome photos are from the 2013 Weston Sand Sculpture Festival on the sandy shores of Weston-super-Mare in Somerset, England. Each year the festival has a different theme and this year’s theme is Hollywood.

“Since the festival started in 2006, themes have included Fairy Tales, The Continents of the World, Under the Ocean, Great Britain, and The Jungle. What began with two Dutch sand sculptors building a giant King Kong from 30 tonnes of sand has now turned into a world famous get-together of some of the niftiest hands in sand sculpting.

More than 20 of the world’s greatest sculptors from nine different countries are working away using 4,000 tonnes of sand from the beach.”

The festival opened on Good Friday and runs through the end of September.

Visit Dailymail.co.uk to view more of the awesome sand sculptures from this year’s Weston Sand Sculpture Festival.

[via Free York and Dailymail.co.uk]


2,167 notes
reblogged via populus-sugatis
Permalink
jewb0y:

My snorlax sweatshirt is beautiful.

jewb0y:

My snorlax sweatshirt is beautiful.


966 notes
reblogged via dancingcheezit
Permalink

saturgay:

roses are red

corbin is bleu

if u dont like high school musical

im not gonna fuck u


24,950 notes
reblogged via lollugaggin
Permalink

1,001 notes
reblogged via imm0lati0n
Permalink

if yahoo buys tumblr (ALL TRUE!!):

daftpostpunk:

  • post limit gets changed to 150 posts a day
  • you can’t google tumblr anymore you must yahoo it
  • no more selfies allowed
  • blogs with less than 300 followers will be deleted
  • heroin will be legalized
  • george bush will become president again
  • stock market will crash
  • korea will blow the US up
  • world war 3

31,532 notes
reblogged via rememberthedaaze
Permalink

constellation-of-kasterburous:

internetfeet:

People mistake ovulation and menstruation to be the same thing when in fact they aren’t

Ovulation is when the eggs are saying “hello friends I am here”

And menstuation is when the eggs are saying “goodbye friends I am gone”

menstruation is when I turn into a ball of sadness

ovulation is when I turn into a ball of hornyness


22,978 notes
reblogged via computer0addict
Permalink

thewaywardfox:

protip: if you cant remember someones name, just call them “old sport”


1,333 notes
reblogged via mikeymikewarren